October
2001 (Newstream) -- A nationwide survey conducted confirms the family
dinner is alive and well - in fact, 80 percent of families surveyed
reported eating dinner together at least five times each week. However,
for three out of four American families, the focus is likely to be on the
television rather than on talking to each other. As many Americans would
likely agree, it's important now more than ever to enjoy meals as a family
while reconnecting through conversation at the table.
Joan Lunden, television journalist, author, mother
of three and long-time family advocate, is spearheads National Eat Dinner
Together Week (Oct. 7-11), which was established by the National Pork
Board in 1996 to help raise awareness about the importance of mealtime as
a forum for developing family connections.
"Gathering together for a home-cooked meal
shows family members that you care about them," says Lunden.
"It's also a perfect venue for busy families to talk about what's
going on in everyone's lives and to get to know each other as
individuals."
Benefits Beyond the Dinner Table
The idea of family meals as a forum for bonding
and warm conversation has benefits that extend far beyond the dinner
table, according to William Doherty, Ph.D., director of the Marriage and
Family Therapy Center at the University of Minnesota. Doherty is also the
author of The Intentional Family: Simple Rituals to Strengthen Family
Ties and co-founder of Family Life 1st, an organization committed to
making family time a priority.
"Making time for family dinners is one of the
best ways to show kids that maintaining connections with other family
members is a priority," says Doherty. "Research shows that
spending time together as a family, including over meals, is crucial to
the overall well-being of children when it comes to developing healthy
eating habits and progressing in school."
Doherty suggests families take an
"intentional" approach to family dinner, meaning that dinner
becomes a family ritual that focuses on connecting through positive
interaction without distractions, like the television.
"Demonstrate to family members that
dinnertime is about togetherness and catching up with each other, rather
than the evening news," says Doherty.
SO Much to Say
Once the distractions have been eliminated, the
challenge for many families is discovering topics of conversation that
will interest and engage the entire family.
Lunden draws on the skills she learned as a
journalist to get beyond ordinary conversations and spark more meaningful
discussions with her family at the dinner table.
"Start by doing your homework - learn about
the topics that interest your family members outside of work and
school," says Lunden. Then, Lunden recommends asking creative
questions that not only get your children's attention, but require more
than a 'yes' or 'no' answer. Allow every member of the family to
contribute to the conversation honestly and freely.
"Parents need to strike a balance between the
topics they want to talk to their children about and topics their kids
want to discuss," says Lunden. "I think it's just as important -
maybe even more important - to listen."