What better way to kick off the MLS season than to have a Battle of the Champions? The 2002 MLS Cup champion Los Angeles Galaxy came to Crew Stadium to face the 2002 U.S. Open Cup champion Columbus Crew. It was like a title unification bout or something, except not on pay per view and the whole thing wasn’t rigged by Don King. Or was it? A 1-1 draw solved nothing, and sets up a more lucrative rematch in Los Angeles on July 9th. Hmmm….

Man of the Match: Kevin Hartman

The Crew came out blazing, playing what may have been the finest 15 minutes of soccer in their history. Los Angeles struggled to so much as clear the ball past midfield, never mind possess it in the offensive half. Kyle Martino was slicing through the Galaxy defense with passes and on the dribble. Frankie Hejduk made one dangerous overlap after another on the right side. Edson Buddle was a ball magnet in traffic. Everything was clicking and the Crew could seemingly do no wrong.

Unfortunately, neither could Kevin Hartman. The Galaxy goalkeeper single-handedly kept the Crew at bay with a steady stream of crucial saves in the early part of the match. Brian McBride, Buddle and Freddy Garcia all had chances snuffed out by Hartman. The keeper’s most breathtaking save came in the 23rd minute, when he sprawled to his right to somehow stop a Ross Paule bender that was destined for the side netting. Hartman’s most mind boggling save came on a play that didn’t even count. It turns out Brian Maisonneuve was flagged for offside, but Hartman made a diving stop of Maisonneuve’s initial header, and then followed it up by saving the rebound with a well-placed leg lift while laying flat on the ground. It was one of those days.

“I thought Hartman was superb,” said Galaxy coach Sigi Schmid. “I think he is the premier shot stopper in the league. There are parts of Kevin’s game that I would like to see get better, but in terms of pure shot stopping, in terms of making big saves in big games, I don’t think there is a better goalkeeper in this league.”

The Crew could only marvel. “All credit to Kevin Hartman,” said Crew goalie Jon Busch. “He played a whale of a game. He’s a quality goalkeeper in this league and he proved it again today.”

Big Ed Keeps On Rollin’

Leave it to Edson Buddle to finally solve Hartman in the 36th minute. The 21-year-old entered the opener on a scoring tear, having notched three goals in two CONCACAF Champions Cup games. Buddle kept on rollin’ with his first goal in league play, beating Hartman on a header off of a set piece. From the right of goal, 22 or so yards out, Garcia swerved a line drive service into the middle of the box, where Buddle’s head connected with the ball and put it back inside the right post.

“We work on those every day in practice,” sad Buddle. “Freddy is a great set piece taker. He put a good ball in the box and I was able to put it away.”

The Own Assist

The Galaxy showed some signs of life in the first twenty minutes of the second half. The Crew were back on their heels a bit, and it would eventually cost them. LA, still struggling to create quality goal scoring chances, would have one gifted to them by Crew midfielder Brian Maisonneuve. Mais slipped as he tried to clear the ball on the left side of the box, sending the ball across the goalmouth to the head of MLS scoring champ Carlos Ruiz, who nodded it across traffic inside the right post.

“On their goal, I was falling down and the ball spun off my foot and landed right on Ruiz’s head,” said Maisonneuve.

It was then suggested that he may have been a pioneer in a new statistical category- the Own Assist, as in: LA- Ruiz 1 (OA Maisonneuve) 64.

“Yeah, my first point of the year,” said Mais. “It’s too bad because other than that, we really limited their chances.”

The goal may have been flukey from a strategic standpoint, but Ruiz’s execution was flawless.

“I came from my left to my right,” said Busch, “and he headed it back across my body. It’s very tough when you’re moving left to right, to go back to your left.”

Clarkie & Ruiz

One of the more entertaining matchups around the league is Crew defender Mike Clark marking LA striker Carlos Ruiz. Last year, it was good theater. See Clark chop down Ruiz. See Ruiz elbow Clark. See Clark & Ruiz try to rip each other’s jerseys off. See Clark & Ruiz yell at each other. See Clark & Ruiz try to work the ref, attempting to convince him that the other is a lawless menace that needs to be carded for a variety of ungentlemanly infractions.

Today was no different. Within minutes of the opening kick off, Clark & Ruiz were nose-to-nose behind the play, jawing with one another.

“He’s a great forward,” said Clark. “I doubt many forwards, if any, like contact. That’s why I always try to get in there early and get a good, clean, hard tackle in. I actually didn’t want to get it in that early because the ref was all over me from the first minute of the game, so I didn’t have another one to waste. But he’s a great forward so you have to get all over him right away.”

Ruiz’s Injury

As overtime expired, Ruiz was laying in the grass in pain.

“He took an elbow,” said Schmid. “He got hit. Or, I dunno, maybe nothing happened because the referee didn’t call anything, so obviously he didn’t get hit. All I know is he is bleeding and he has an injury. I don’t know the extent of the injury, but his jaw is really sore.”

Clark didn’t see exactly what happened, but he shed some light on the situation.

“On that last set piece, everyone was jumping around and running all over the place,” said Clark. “Lalas and McBride were running one way, Ruiz and I were going the other way, and he got caught in the middle of the sandwich. Apparently he got the worst of it.”

The Budding Rivalry

The Crew and Galaxy have become unlikely rivals, what with the teams playing in different conferences and the cities being located thousands of miles apart on the map, and millions of miles apart in culture.

But the Crew are the only MLS club with a winning record against Los Angeles in league play (9-5-3). The Galaxy are getting their own soccer stadium, and their management hasn’t been shy about mentioning how much better it will be than Crew “Nutrasweet” Stadium. And then there’s that little matter of the US Open Cup final, in which the Crew defeated the Galaxy 1-0.

“We’ve got a bit of a bug on our shoulder about them,” said Crew defender Brian Dunseth. “There was a lot of trash talking after the Open Cup was over. Certain players were talking about how we didn’t deserve to win because we weren’t playing. All we played was long ball, and they play a beautiful game. Stuff like that. It’s especially bad for me, being from California, meaning I have to deal with those guys because I see them all the time. A lot of trash talking. That’s the nicest way to put it. A lot of trash talking.”

With many prognosticators picking the two clubs to meet in MLS Cup 2003, and with a potential showdown in the next round of the CONCACAF Champions Cup, not to mention two more league matches, look for the rivalry to heat up even further.

The Weather: Blecch!

The Galaxy were inconsiderate guests, not bringing any of that balmy LaLa Land weather with them. Today’s game was played with wind chills in the 20s, despite a sunny and warm week leading up to the game. The playing conditions were so cold that even after taking a shower, Dunseth still had a legitimate case of chatter teeth.

“I opened my garage to leave for the pre-game meal and I was like, ‘You’ve gotta be kidding me,’” said Dunseth. “Last night I heard a big BOOM and my room was all lit up from lightning, and I was thinking that it was nice that the front would move through before the game. Then I got up this morning and I thought it was a joke. Why does every opening day have to be like 10 degrees with the wind blowing all over the place?”

It could be worse. When the Galaxy visited in April of 2000, the wind chills were in the low teens.

Espresso Anyone?

Before the game, Clark was marveling over the new locker room espresso machine.

“Check this out!,” he said. “We struck a deal with Starbucks so we get our own espresso machine! It even comes with us on the road! This is awesome!”

“Clarkie would change his name to ‘Espresso Clarkie’ in a heartbeat,” said Duncan Oughton. “Or at least make it his middle name. Michael Espresso Clark.”

Being Clark’s road roomie, I asked Oughton if Clark’s hyperactive caffeine addiction was a problem.

“Look at him,” said Oughton as he pointed out Clark downing a shot of espresso. “Is it any wonder he goes out there and slices people up every game?”

Clark’s True Birthplace / Duncan’s Second Job

As the players dressed and prepared for the pre-game warm-up, Clark was flipping through a copy of the game program.

“They got my birthplace wrong again,” he said. “It’s still listed as Indianapolis. After eight years, you’d think they’d finally get it right.”

I offered to set the record straight.

“I was born in Dayton, Ohio,” he said.

“You really want to admit to that?” joked Eric Denton, which was followed by several comments from the peanut gallery, including Oughton.

“Easy there, Duncan,” said Clark. “That’s the great state of Ohio you’re talking about. If it weren’t for Ohio and its soccer team, you’d be a shepherd on a New Zealand sheep farm.”

“No I wouldn’t,” countered Oughton. “I’d be sitting on a beach in sunny California.”

“Yeah, but what would you be doing for a living?” asked Clark.

“I’d be sitting on a beach in sunny California!” said Oughton. “I’d sit there with a hat next to me, and strangers could walk by and throw pennies into it. I’d probably make as much money as an MLS player anyway.”

He then turned to me. “Jim Smith is gonna kick my (butt) when he reads that, but go ahead and use it.”

Duncan and Denton were contemplating the career switch, when I offered a compromise. Play soccer for the Crew, and then use the off-season to supplement their incomes by collecting spare change on the beach for the other four months.

“What is this four month off season you’re talking about?” Duncan asked. I admitted it was merely the first random number that popped into my head. “Well it was a horrible, awful estimate,” he said. “Not even close! I’ll let it slide this time.”

I covered up my vulnerable region just in case he changed his mind.

Harksey’s Farewell

US soccer legend John Harkes officially announced his retirement during today’s game. He was honored at halftime with a framed jersey and one final round of applause from the Crew faithful. An American pioneer, Harkes’ long and storied career came to a fitting end, with yet another championship to add to his resume, by virtue of the Crew’s 2002 US Open Cup title.

“Today the Captain For Life retired,” Andrulis told the assembled media after the game. “We had a little bit of time with him before the game in the locker room. Getting to spend a couple of years with John Harkes was an awfully wonderful experience. He’s a great person, a tremendous soccer player, and an ambassador for the sport. He made everybody better when he was here. He was a great contributor. The thing that we said to John was ‘We will always remember that every day you came in and inspired us to be better and you helped us get our first championship. It seems that everywhere you’ve gone, championships have followed you. We’re sure that you’ll be champion in the rest of your career, whatever you decide to do.’ Congratulations to John Harkes for an incredible career.”

I’ll drink to that.


Crew.com Cribs: Duncan Oughton

Crew.com Cribs is a surprise new feature to the notebook, and it is the brainchild of Brian Dunseth who, out of nowhere, decided to speak at length about a two-week stay at the Kiwi’s place. It all started when Dunseth got back to his locker after his shower.

“I’m surprised Duncan didn’t mess with my clothes while I was in the shower, since I make fun of him for the two weeks I stayed with him,” he said. “I stayed in Duncan’s house and I swear to God I was waiting for Mr. Firley to walk in. It was Three’s Company. The carpet was orange…it was all old-school straight 70’s. I thought Chrissy was gonna come flying through the room any minute. It was crazy. It was very interesting. It’s the perfect place for Duncan. It suits him very well.”

“And then there’s his clothing style,” Dunseth continued. “Jeez! You look into his closet and you see all the colors of the rainbow. I think he’s been shopping at Charlotte Russe, he has so many pairs of tight pants.”

I asked what was in Duncan’s refrigerator.

“Bottles of water. Ketchup. Roasted chicken. A few Ego waffles. And he has mousetraps around his refrigerator.”

Mousetraps?

“I swear to God! He has mousetraps because I think he has candy hidden somewhere. He’s a sugarholic, so he has candy, like M&M’s. One day he found a hole in a bag of M&M’s, and there were peanuts everywhere. The mouse or rat had eaten all of the chocolate and left the nuts. So next thing you know, he has mousetraps with chocolate instead of cheese! It’s just shocking! It’s so Duncan that it’s unbelievable!”

I suggested maybe we could start a new feature called Crew.com Cribs.

“Yeah! I can put a hidden camera in a shoulder sack and just carry it around and follow him around his house while he says ‘Oi! Do you want food? Do you want chocolate with milk? Or chocolate with water?’”

When the laughter died down, Dunseth offered the following CYA this-ought-to-make-it-all-better disclaimer: “I would like to put it on record that I am very thankful I got to stay there, because if he didn’t let me stay there, I have no idea where I would have stayed.”

(I realize that with inflammatory accusations of sugarholism, vermin infestation, and eyesore 70’s décor, journalistic integrity requires that I corroborate evidence and seek both sides of the story. But Duncan was already gone. Besides, Dunseth is a friend and teammate of Duncan’s, so I have no reason to believe that he was anything but 100% fair, accurate, and truthful in his comments, without partaking in any flights of fancy or the slightest bit of exaggeration whatsoever. Of course, I will also have to make the same assumption when I get Duncan’s comments on what life was like while living with a freeloading boarder like Dunseth.)

The History of Crew Practical Jokes (Part I)

When interviewing former Crew midfielder Rob Smith for the “Where Are They Now?” feature in the game program, I asked him to share a practical joke he might still remember from his playing days. He told me the following story about Robert Warzycha:

“This happened when I first came in the first year. I don’t know if you know, but goalies use these medicine balls that look just like soccer balls. I think they’re made by Kwik Goal, and they’re basically heavy soccer balls for the goalkeepers to throw around when they do their stupid keeper stuff. You’ve been to plenty of practices, so you know how guys are always playing games, like trying to hit the crossbar and stuff. Robert was pretty into it at the time. There were four or five balls sitting around in a little group waiting to be hit at the crossbar. I think it was Paul Caligiuri who devised a strategy for Robert. A couple of guys hit theirs, and then it was Robert’s turn. He was always very competitive about these things, so Caligiuri rolls out this medicine ball for Robert. He kicked it and it only went like 15 yards. He got mad and started yelling stuff in Polish. That sticks out as one of the funniest moments.”

Duncan’s Lone Postgame Comment

I did not speak to Oughton after the game, except for when he came up to me on his way out and said he had one statement that needed to go on record and appear in my article. He beckoned me to turn on my recorder and hold it up to him.

“I miss Dante Washington.”

And with that four-word tribute to his former locker neighbor, the Kiwi turned around and left, possibly in a rush to get home to see if his chocolate-baited mousetraps had yielded any M&M-munching Mickeys.

Questions? Comments? See that guy walking around the stadium in his Everton “McBirde” jersey? Feel free to write at sirk@columbuswired.net

Columbus Wired’s Steve Sirk is entering his sixth season covering Columbus Crew soccer, the last four of which have been spent with the team’s official web site, www.thecrew.com  , where his post-game notebook column bafflingly appears alongside legitimate news and articles of substance.