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The Oscar Nominations have come out. This means that I will
compulsively seek out every single film nominated for an award so
that I can fill out my ballot in its entirety. Diane Lane is
nominated in the Best Actress Category for her performance in this
film.
I watched this on Pay-Per-View, and found the most entertaining part
of the entire film was director Adrain Lyne’s assertion that there
was no reason for Diane Lane’s character to have an affair because
her life was so idyllic.
I laughed out loud.
You see, Ms. Lane had every reason known to man to step out on her
husband. Yes, she’s married to Richard Gere. But this is not sexy
Richard Gere, this is boring Richard Gere in glasses who gets
excited about powder blue cashmere sweaters. This is a Richard Gere
who has a child with Diane Lane that is not adorable – no, it’s the
annoying little brother from “Malcolm in the Middle” that is saddled
with “Mom, you’re driving me bonkers” as a catchphrase.
I’m surprised she wasn’t sleeping with everyone in her small New
York country town. I give her credit for holding out for the
28-year-old French kid that just happens to memorize relevant
passages of poetry for housewives that have suddenly realized that
their lives are incredibly dull and will soon pass into middle age
without knowing the passionate touch of a younger man with an
accent.
I remember the trailers for this film. It promised all sorts of
passionate sex scenes. The trailer went on and on about “from the
director that brought you “9 ½ Weeks” and “Fatal Attraction.” That
trailer so lied about everything.
I suppose that compared to uber-bore Gere, sex with the French kid
seems exciting. After all kid lives in SoHo, collects books and
wears an old coat that is at least three sizes too big. My apologies
to any readers that feel this review has suddenly gotten too “hot.”
I look back on Lyne’s two aforementioned films and remember a man
that knew a lot about passion in compromising positions. But in
these films, we had people filled with passion and desire. In
“Unfaithful,” however, we simply have attractive people that happen
to have sex. This is perhaps the main reason for the “plot twist.”
Perhaps, deep-down, Lyne knew that not even having these characters
use the F-word to describe their afternoon encounters would be
enough to sustain the film for another hour.
But hey, we get to see more of “bonkers!” kid after that. And why
not put the husband and wife in a situation that binds them together
even though they desperately want to be apart? Blah, blah, blah.
What It’s Worth: If you have HBO, wait for the multi-view, and make
sure that nothing as important as “Trading Spaces” reruns are on if
you decide to devote 2 hours to the watching of this film.
Main Reason To See This Film: You have a compulsive need to watch
all films that involve Oscar Nominations.
Main Reason Not To See This Film: Heavy-handed “imagery” that is
meant to bring “deeper” meaning to film – it succeeds only in
further underscoring fact that Lyne thinks his audience is stupid.
MPAA Rating: R
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