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Even though he has said “don’t worry, Elizabeth Hurley was hot,” I
still feel the need to make amends to the roommate. Despite the fact
that we’d attended on free movie passes, I still feel the need to
make this right between us. If anyone is aware of the current gift
that says, “I’m really sorry for indirectly causing the complete
loss of 89 minutes of your life that you will never get back,” I
would appreciate an e-mail. Redenvelope.com has this cute “Goddess
of Compassion” bracelet, but it really doesn’t seem to fit his
personality.
Here’s the skinny: Matthew Perry is a drug addict; Elizabeth Hurley
is gal on the rebound from a bad relationship. In order to get
through their respective woes, the two of them decide to star in a
movie with Cedric the Entertainer (best known from the Bud Light
commercials). It is called “Serving Sara.”
I can only assume that the two of them were going to some star-only
art therapy center that specialized in all known maladies that
afflict the wealthy and attractive. The problem is that art therapy
is rarely any good – it is stuff that everyone gushes over because
they worry a negative word will send their young son back on a
Crystal Meth binge and ruin his unprecedented 3 weeks of sobriety.
The story line in Serving Sara is unbelievably weak.
As I understand it, Joe (Matthew Perry) works as a process server, a
job that he hates, with people that he hates in a city that he
hates.
Sara (Elizabeth Hurley) is married to a Texan cattle rancher, but
lives in New York in order to get on a first-name basis with the
Elizabeth Arden Day Spa staff. When Joe serves Sara with divorce
papers, he quickly agrees to help Sara seek revenge on her husband
by serving him instead, and the process serving saga is off and
running!
Am I the only one that looks at characters in films working bad jobs
as being one of the worst plot devices imaginable? Only in “Clerks,”
where the stupidity of working a job that you hate is tackled
head-on, does this work.
Why is it that Joe who is single, without children or any sort of
visible social or family life chooses to stay? If process serving is
so terrible, why not move to Ft. Lauderdale and work at a 7-11? THAT
would have been interesting – after all, I could have prayed that
Perry would have been shot during a robbery while researching his
part.
Also, I know I’m not the only one to wonder openly exactly when I
was supposed to start feeling sorry for exceptionally attractive,
wealthy women that are dumped by boorish husbands for vapid, younger
blondes.
Yet, this is how I’m expected to feel for poor, poor Sara. Poor,
poor Sara who might only receive 2 or 3 million in the divorce
settlement instead of the 10 million she thinks she deserves.
Although I will give some credit, as Sara wears a micro-mini skirt
and tiny black T-shirt with the words “white trash” neatly
embroidered on the chest as a way to say “I’m sorry” to any men that
decide to see the film.
If either of these items weren’t enough to point to “BAD FILM HERE!”
signs, we have Cedric the Entertainer making an appearance as Joe’s
boss. Cedric’s scenes all take place in the same room – he never so
much as walks out of his office to yell at someone down the hallway.
He wears the loudest suites known to man (yet he never visits his
tailor). He is only scene on camera with the other actors briefly –
otherwise he’s on the phone yelling at people.
I firmly believe he was brought into the picture late in the game to
salvage this poor excuse for a train wreck. His scenes have some
humor, but I couldn’t help but think that it was director Reginald
Huldrin’s way of saying “I know I was wrong, but look at this shiny
bobble that will make you forget all about it.” Whatever.
The jokes made me yearn for stale – they’re obvious, old and
delivered poorly. I wanted to do nothing but wait for the film to
end. The ending, which I shall mercifully spoil for everyone, shows
Sara and Joe as a couple together at their own winery tasting their
first bottle of wine. They sniff, swirl and swish only to spit it
out because it is undrinkable. That, my friends, is the entire
essence of the film.
The Usual:
What It’s Worth: At this moment, I feel that Reginald Huldrin owes
me money.
Main Reason To See The Film: You’ve just finished shock-treatment
therapy, and this is the only movie that your team of psychologists
has deemed bad enough to qualify as “punishment” under the state’s
new experimental rehabilitation program for miscreants.
Main Reason Not To See The Film: You like yourself.
MPAA Rating: PG-13.
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